In case you’ve been living under a rock, CharTec is growing like crazy! Yes, we are looking into increasing our staff and would love to hire some awesome people to fill the gaps. So, if you’re thinking about working for a startup IT Company based out of the sunny Ag and Oil hub of smoggy Bakersfield, CA, then do we have a job for you! If you want to land a job and ace your interview, here are a few tips to help you make it past the security guards and back to HR:

1. Relax, it’s only your future, so be yourself. We’ll let you know if you can finally stop flipping burgers or not.

2. Great, you know buzz words like “cloud” and “BYOD,” that’s fantastic…no one cares—unless you can tell us the best BDR configuration to virtualize 10 servers during a flood from your iPhone. If not, then we can’t use you.

3. Don’t make jokes about rainbows. Our mascot is a rainbow zebra…have you ever seen a pissed off zebra charge? I didn’t think so. We haven’t either and we’d like to keep it that way, thanks.

4. No, you cannot have an interview via Skype. If you ask for us to join a Google+ hangout for the interview, that’s an auto-fail.

5. If you get stuck on a question, make us laugh, please. Don’t rack your brain and give us faulty or just wrong information. So, Mr. Candidate, how exactly does virtualization work? One acceptable answer could sound like: “Well, you see, after the bear climbs up the tree to get the honey, he climbs down the tree, runs across a field, and then climbs up another tree. And that’s basically how virtualization works.” If you’re non- technical, this is an acceptable answer. If you are going for a tech position, you’re fired (in Donald Trump voice).

6. If you are trying to get out of your mother’s basement or garage and spend your time playing WOW or throwing LAN parties, please be sure to pick up an application and we’ll schedule you for an interview right away!

7. Please dress the part. If you have cleavage, please cover up. It reduces the productivity of our technicians.

8. We are a tech company, meaning we have cameras everywhere! So if you think you’re going to walk in here acting rude to the receptionist and smelling like feet, guess what? We know what the smell is because of Google Nose…isn’t technology amazing?

9. Don’t talk about how large your stolen or torrent music collection is, or how you’re running Office 2013 from a volume license key you stole from Pirate Bay. We are a reseller of Microsoft products and have enough problems with the SPLA police; we don’t need your broke, stealing software antics in the company.

10. Okay, seriously, we are a fun company! We like to have taco and beer for Friday lunch and we have a gym. It’s a pretty awesome place to work whether you’re technical or not; the most important thing is to take your work seriously and to have a sense of humor. If you meet those (and the other 9 points), I invite you to visit our careers page and see where you fit into the CharTec family.