You own the business.  You supply the products.  You manage the services.  And, this might be where things get a little confusing for youYou see, all you’re hearing is you and, so, for some odd reason, you think the “you” in all this actually matters.  But, it doesn’t.

All that really matters is them, your prospects, him, her and that person over there.

They make your business, they keep the products flowing and they demand the service.  Which means, if you really want “them” to become a client, you have to learn the new form of persuasion—selling yourself without selling “you”.

When it comes to anything—presentations, websites, marketing campaigns… blogs—no one wants to hear about how great you are.  They want to know how to make their own situation better.  They want to hear about their own problems and they want to learn about your solutions in a completely narcissistic, self-centered way.


First and foremost, prospects want you to listen to them.  They want to talk about themselves, their problems and everything there is to know about their life, their business and their pet rock.  If you cut them off or if you’re talking so much they never even get the chance to open their mouth, they’ll go find someone who will listen to them.

This is where the problem will come out… or, if you’re lucky, the problems (plural).  So listen.


After you’ve listened, you need to understand.  This is where you’re allowed to speak.  But, you’re still not allowed to talk about yourself or your business.  You understand their problem and you counter with an alternative to their woes, aches, pains, complications and miseries.

Ever heard the old adage, “Walk a mile in their shoes?”  I’m sure you have.  Well, don’t walk a mile in their shoes… that takes too much time.  This is where you show off your acting skills.


So, you’ve listened and you’ve understood.  Now is the time to respond with your solution.  But, once again, it’s not about you.  It’s about them.  If you lose that for just one second, one tiny, inkling, smidgen of a second, you’ll lose them.

They don’t want to hear about you.  They don’t want to know how great you are.  They don’t want to know how much of a genius you are.  They want to hear about your solution.

Explain your “solution” in a way that directly involves their particular concerns.  Don’t pull your cookie cutter out of your pocket and slam it on the table.  They’ll look at your cookie cutter and say, “Yeah, so what?  How does this affect me?”

If they ask this, then you’ve failed.